Media Analysis, The Faithful Takeover

No-one needs to do a woke liberal arts degree to understand media. Rather, doing such a degree makes you understand media less by muddying basic concepts with academic theories and other drivel that’s barely applicable nor comprehensible to most people. Pretentious slop. A waste of money and time as some liberals are brainwashed into thinking they're artists who can create something better than The Bible. This is why you can provide better media analysis than they can. You're smarter than they are because your thinking is more simple, more digestible for a mass audience.

While Libs may have made you falsely assume that media analysis is complicated and requires a thorough understanding of media as an art-form, it is actually rather easy to decide whether something is a good piece of media. Forget themes, pacing, editing, symbolism, character development, lighting, costuming, how one piece of art adapts another... forget it all! Media analysis is really easy. Anyone with half a brain or less can provide valuable insight and commentary on the latest move or song, and your opinion in particular is very special. The formula is simple:

A good piece of media = I like it.

A bad piece of media = I don't like it.

A general rule of thumb is that you should dislike most mass media, whether that’s the movies, music or performances at sporting events. To give a thorough intelligent analysis, you must start at the conclusion that the media is bad and then work your way backwards. 

You should provide a reason why the media doesn’t appeal to you personally and perhaps why it’s even demonic. Perhaps you simply don’t understand the symbolism. Maybe the themes fly over your head. Maybe the English language is just too difficult sometimes. The key to providing the best media criticism is to say it with your full chest. Say it with enough confidence and people will think you’re as smart as you think you are. Screw up your eyes a little as you look off into the distance pondering the meaning of it all. Scratch your chin. Get ragingly angry and throw things and call everything you can’t quite comprehend dumb, stupid and woke.

As you can guess, the more you dislike something, the more high-brow you will appear. If you provide enough unprovoked media criticisms, your opinions will be equally as valued, if not valued more so, than those who have spent years and thousands of dollars studying this nonsense.

After all, we analyze the Bible to make the text fit neatly into our political biases. The same can be done with a simple movie or song. Since most mainstream culture isn't Biblical, it should be scorned. Very few movies or media will fall into the "I like it" and therefore "good" category. Usually good movies are regarded as controversial by the mainstream, perhaps even banned or branded as "propaganda." These are the movies that should be praised to the highest Heavens as good pieces of art, regardless of how well made they are.

Of course, condemning a bad piece of media publicly does not necessarily mean you really hate it, you just hate it on principle, but on the weekends sometimes you need a little demonic music to pump you up for the day. Just don't let other people find out.